Let me guess – you’ve already said it at least once.
“We’re not really photo people.” Or: “I have no idea what to do with my hands.” Or the classic: “I just don’t photograph well.”
I hear some version of this from almost every couple before their engagement session. And here’s what I know after shooting hundreds of them: by the end, most of those same people surprise themselves completely.
Not because they suddenly became models. But because feeling comfortable in front of a camera has almost nothing to do with how you look – and everything to do with how you feel. And creating that feeling? That’s my job.
The awkwardness is normal – and it’s temporary
The first ten minutes of any engagement session are a little weird. I’m going to be honest with you about that. You’re standing somewhere with a camera pointed at you and you have absolutely no idea what to do with your body. That is a completely normal human response to an unusual situation.
But here’s what happens after those first ten minutes: you forget about the camera. You start laughing at something stupid your partner did. You get distracted. You stop performing and start just being together – and that’s when everything opens up.
“The couples who worry the most about being awkward are often the ones who end up with the most genuine images. Because they’re so focused on not being stiff that they actually let go.”
And sometimes? The most beautiful frames happen in the in-between moments – when you’re adjusting your shoe, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, or fiddling with a button on your jacket. I’m not waiting for perfect stillness. I’m watching for real.
A real session: the bee farm, the bourbon coffee, and the grandpa’s shotgun
Let me tell you about one of my favorite sessions.
I photographed a couple on their family’s property – a place steeped in history, with a home built in the late 1700s and land they were just beginning to make their own. They’d recently moved in while their new home was being built elsewhere on the property, and they were starting something beautiful and a little wild: a small bee farm.
Before we even started, she told me: “We’re so awkward in front of the camera. Especially him.”
So I didn’t pick up my camera right away. I just started asking questions. About the bees. About the history of the property. About what it felt like to be building something from scratch on land that already had 200 years of stories in it. And they lit up.
We walked through fields and under a canopy of old oak trees on a cool, overcast morning – the kind of soft light that makes everything feel cinematic. They’d added bourbon to their coffee (obviously I loved them immediately), and they just took me around like I was a friend visiting for the first time.
By the end of the session, he was the one giving me ideas. “What about over there by the old barn? Oh – can we use my grandfather’s shotgun? And there’s this old saw that’s been in the family for generations.” He drove us around the property in his old red Ford truck. They wore matching overalls. The sun broke through right at the end.
He came in telling me he was the awkward one. He left giving me creative direction. That’s what happens when someone finally feels at home in front of the camera.
That’s not a fluke. That’s what happens when you stop trying to take photos and start having an experience.
We talk first – always
Before I ever lift my camera, we just… talk. About how you two met. About the proposal. About what you’re excited about for your wedding. About whatever comes up. It genuinely doesn’t matter what we talk about.
This isn’t small talk for the sake of it. It’s the most important part of the session. Because when you feel like you know me a little – when I’m not just a stranger with a camera but a real person you’ve already laughed with – your nervous system starts to settle. And when you are settled and a little more relaxed it shows in your photos.
My approach shifts depending on you. Some couples need more time to warm up; some need one good laugh and they’re off. I pay attention to where you’re at and meet you there. You’ll never feel like I’m rushing you.
The mix of intentional and real – and why it matters
Here’s something I want to be upfront about: I pose my couples. Intentionally, thoughtfully, and sometimes heavily. Think clean lines, elevated composition, the kind of stillness you’d see in a fashion editorial or campaign. I love that look. I pursue it on purpose.
But I also love what happens in between.
When you shift your weight after holding a pose, when you both exhale and laugh at the same time, when he reaches over to fix her hair without thinking – I’m still shooting. Those unguarded in-between moments sit right alongside the intentional ones in your gallery, and together they tell the whole story of who you two actually are.
What I don’t do is chase “natural” at the expense of intention. You’ve probably seen a lot of candid-only work on Pinterest – couples walking away, laughing mid-stride, looking effortlessly unaware. And some of it is genuinely beautiful. But a lot of it is a photographer quietly directing every single step while pretending not to. There’s nothing wrong with that approach, but it’s not my whole story.
My signature is the contrast. A frame where you look like you belong in a magazine, followed immediately by one where you’re both losing it over something only you two would find funny. Elevated and real, living in the same gallery.
That tension is what makes the images feel like – not just pretty photos, but an honest portrait of your relationship. If you want images that are only one thing, I’m probably not your photographer. But if you want both? That’s exactly what I’m here for.
Things you can actually do if you feel awkward in the moment
Even with all the prompts and conversation in the world, there will be moments where you go blank. That’s completely fine. Here’s a cheat sheet for those moments – small, natural movements that photograph beautifully and give your body something to do:
• Put your hands in your pockets. Instantly more relaxed, instantly more natural.
• Play with a button on your jacket or shirt. That fidgeting? It reads as real.
• Reach up and fix your hair. I will be shooting the whole time.
• Fix your shoe – bend down, adjust the strap, take a second. Those candid frames are gold.
• Lean into your partner. Literally. Rest your head, adjust where you’re standing, close the space between you.
• Look somewhere other than the camera. Look at them. Look at the view. Look at whatever you’re walking toward.
I promise you: I am never waiting for you to be still and perfect. I’m watching the whole scene. Those in-between moments? That’s exactly where I want to be.
Your photographer’s energy shows up in your photos
This doesn’t get said enough: the way your photographer makes you feel is directly reflected in your images. If you feel rushed, your photos will feel rushed. If you feel judged, your images will feel guarded. If you feel comfortable, seen, and like you’re just hanging out with someone who gets it – that’s what shows up in every frame.
This is why chemistry with your photographer matters more than their Instagram grid. If you’re curious what it actually feels like to work with me, my Portraits Page has more on my approach – and what my couples tend to say about the experience.
My sessions are never formal or rushed. They feel more like wandering around somewhere beautiful with a friend who happens to have a camera. That’s entirely intentional.
A few practical things that make a real difference
Beyond the emotional side of things, a few real logistics help:
• Wear something you actually feel good in – not what you think you should wear for photos. Confidence in your outfit is visible. (Need help? Check out my guide: What to Wear for Your Engagement Session
• Don’t come starving or exhausted. I know it sounds basic, but it matters more than you’d think. Eat beforehand, get a decent night’s sleep.
• Think about a location that actually means something to you. A place where you’re already comfortable changes everything. (More on that here: How to Choose the Right Location for Your Engagement Session
• Give yourself permission to feel a little awkward at first. Don’t fight it. It always passes. And I’ll be right there with you while it does.
Here’s the truth
You don’t need experience. You don’t need to be naturally photogenic. You don’t need to know what to do with your hands.
You just need to show up as yourselves – the real, slightly goofy, genuinely in-love version of you two – and trust the process. I’ll handle everything else.
I have yet to meet a couple who couldn’t do that.
If you’re ready to find out what a session with me actually feels like, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out here – and let’s start talking about your session.
Keep reading
→ What to Wear for Your Engagement Session
→ How to Choose the Right Location for Your Engagement Session
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